Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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