you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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