Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i think i just lost a toe
Damn victory sex feels great
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
