hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
