One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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