My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
