How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
