i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
