Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
