just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize