He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
