did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
