Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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