He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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