Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
