ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
