You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
