real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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