I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
