dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
