Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
