the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
