Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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