I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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