did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
