Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
