If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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