So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
