you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
