I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
