haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
