quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
