I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
