"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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