is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
