is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
