I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
