she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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