the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
