My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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