I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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