Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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