I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
