Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
