Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
