You're so nebulous sometimes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
