i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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