Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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