Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
