just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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