My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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