she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
