I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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