the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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