In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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