I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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