Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
