A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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