you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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