I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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