We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
