There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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