I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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