grandma shit on top of the toilet
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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