She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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