He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
