Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
